So if Mike is getting super excited over the non-traditional details, what are they, you ask?

A disclaimer before you read:  Most of these details are not shocking or even very original to most brides who do their research online…they’re becoming very common to those of us who spend the time on inspiration blogs.  But my family and most of my friends don’t read wedding blogs (and why would they?) so most of this stuff is VERY new to them and a little shocking.

Anyway, on with our details:

• No officiant! For our ceremony, we will have both sets of parents come up in front of us and talk about love & marriage, and what it means to them.  After that, Mike and I will recite our vows (we will be writing them).  We won’t be technically “married” that day, so there is no need for an ordained officiant!
  • The Reaction: This has stirred up a bit of controversy.  Most everyone has been very supportive of this, but we have a few family members who would prefer a priest, and have been vocal about it, but overall, positive reactions here.

• Wearing a short dress. I didn’t think this was that big of a deal because I’ve seen more and more brides do this, but apparently short dresses shock a bunch of people!  Some say that it’s too casual and that it should be the “most important dress of my life” but I disagree.  It’s a dress, that’s all.  It’s very pretty and I’ll look fabulous, but it’s a dress.  I want more people to be floored by the reception, the food and the wine…that’s something everyone can enjoy!
  • The Reaction: Mostly surprised looks, a few “That’s Crazy!  A short dress?” and then some worse things along the lines of it’s not a “real” wedding dress and that it won’t be as special.  I won’t let the opinions get to me, but it is discouraging that so many people don’t seem to see me as a real bride if my dress isn’t long!

• First Look.  I love this idea, and I’m so happy I discovered it through the blog-o-sphere.  While my makeup is still fresh and my curls still intact, Mike and I are going to run around the city of Philadelphia with our wedding party, families, and photog getting all of the pictures in that we could have ever wanted!  Once we get that out of the way, we can focus on the ceremony and of course, the food, wine, and dancing!
  • The Reaction: “Don’t Do It!” from so many people.  Also, some have said that it won’t be special if he sees me before I walk down the aisle.  Most people generally wouldn’t do it themselves and have never even heard of it.  Again, it won’t stop us, but I just wonder…why do they care?  And even if they do care, why tell me that my wedding won’t be special?

• DIY elements. I’m so glad that DIY brides are being celebrated.  I think that taking on projects for your wedding makes it much more personal, and it’s usually better on your wallet.  We’re doing our own flowers, centerpieces, invitations, menus, programs, and then any other random decor as needed.
  • The Reaction: Mostly positive!  My family is concerned with me having enough time to do our flowers, but since I’m not doing anything super complicated, I have confidence!

• We’re getting married in a restaurant! What better way to celebrate our love than through the celebration of food?  Restaurants have far superior menus to catering companies, in my opinion, because they’re focused mostly on just that: the food.  Not the wedding and the coordination it takes, and the set up and the break down…for them, food is just what they do!
  • The Reaction: This kills me…when I told my Grandma about this, she said “Oh, it’d be perfect if it just had a little chapel next door!”  She’s adorable!  Other than that, most of our friends are excited to party it up at a swank restaurant.

• Wine Bar. Not only do we love food, but Mike and I are huge wine fans.  Our bar will be mostly a wine bar with one or two beer options.  We’ll provide tasting notes for each wine (OUR tasting notes) and encourage guests to step away from just “red” and “white” and really get to know some of the wines we love.
  • The Reaction: My dad is mostly concerned with making sure that everyone is happy with our booze choices.  I try to reassure him that when I used to bartend weddings, I never once got a complaint from a guest about the wine/beer only bars.  Most people are just happy for free booze!  Some of my family members do not drink at all, so it makes it a little uncomfortable that they’re against it, but I really can’t let that bother me.

• No Garter Toss.  Mike was actually disgusted and horrified by the garter toss tradition and was adamant about not doing it.  I certainly don’t mind…thats just one itchy thing that doesn’t have to be on my body that day!  As for a bouquet toss…I don’t think I’ll do that either, but it’s still up in the air.
  • The Reaction: I don’t think most people care about this one, so I haven’t really made a point of talking about it with anyone.

• Colorful Shoes. My mom wasn’t sure about this one.  Yellow shoes?  Red shoes?  How does this happen?  Why does this happen?  She just wasn’t sure about this one!  Again, I thought it wasn’t a big deal since they’re all over the place on wedding blogs!
  • The Reaction: Oh, my mom’s face…when I said “yellow shoes” she looked at me like I had three heads.  She asked if I was sure, and I said “yep!” and then we moved on.

• No Best Man/Maid of Honor.  Nothing much to say here…I would have chosen my sister to be my MOH, but since she lives so far, I didn’t want her to feel obligated to do any of the typical MOH duties.
  • My bridesmaids haven’t been bothered by this one, and although Mike hasn’t chosen his whole groom’s party, I don’t see this one being an issue.

• Other things we’ve gotten flak about:
  • Not having our wedding in the midwest to make it easier on our families
  • Not making a decision quickly enough
  • The way I picked out my ring (some thought Mike should do this)

So I don’t think that all of this is off-the-wall crazy stuff, I mean, we’re still having a ceremony, a cocktail hour (or half-hour, we haven’t decided), dinner and dancing.  We really aren’t straying too far from the traditional formula, but I think some of my choices are foreign and confusing to my family members and friends.

Hopefully at the end of all of this, even the naysayers will be happy to exclaim how awesome our wedding was and that all of the little different details just made for a better experience!

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,